Ever imagine what Portland would be like if we were just a little bit more
Euro? A tad more cosmopolitan? What would it be like if the people in this city
were filled with that certain je ne sais quoi instead of the never-ending
quid pro quo?
Well, sure, already every restaurant in town has Pink Martini's Sympathique
on repeat rotation. (Note to food service providers: We love Tom and company,
and we love the way they do French, and we even love that they are big in France--but
enough already, eh? There are plenty of jaunty French performers your customers
will probably enjoy as well. Try starting with Serge Gainsbourg--the kids still
love him even though he's quite dead!)
Sound the "Must Be Made in America" alarms! Portlanders of any sophistication
will reject the new buzz beverage DNA that's due on shelves here next
month. This alcoholic "spring" water aimed at the kind of people who smoke and
toke all night and do yoga the next day comes to us courtesy of Wet Planet Beverages,
the lovely people who birthed Jolt Cola, the poor college student's cocaine.
Steve Valentine, one of the dudes from DNA, told Spin magazine recently,
"It's slick and urban. It's high-tech water." Even though this sounds like one
big February Fool's Day joke, this is a real product aimed at real people near
you. Yuck! Stick to Pellegrino and a shot of Ketel One if you know what's good
for you.
Next, you should order some groceries to your house from People's Food Co-op
at 3029 SE 21st Ave. See, People's uses bike delivery, unlike behemoth trucks.com.
Just think how quaint it will be to see a fleet of bikers whizzing down the
street with baguettes poking out of their baskets. Said two-wheelers will be
whistling Serge Gainsbourg's Bonnie and Clyde as they mosey up to your
door bearing hummus and spinach. Orders will be taken on Wednesdays by phone
and delivered on Thursday evenings. Call 232-9051 for more info.
Use your Euro Pass and check out the new Piazza Italia at 1129 NW Johnson
St. True enough, if you look fast at the name, it seems as though it might be
another tired ol' pizza joint trying to make some dough by licking the boot.
A closer examination reveals that this place is actually a gastronomia,
according to owners Gino Schettini and Kevin Gorretta. Che cosa è
un gastronomia?, you are probably asking yourselves. Basically it's a shop
crammed with the top Italian food brands and specialty stuff that's particularly
hard to find here. There are also ready-made dishes, from pasta to panini, that
you can eat in or take with you. Call 478-0619 to say buon giorno.
Finally, to be really, really not from here, Portlanders need to know whom
to worship and how. If Oregon were a small region in France, one day a year
the whole place would shut down in honor of Jack Czarnecki. This maestro
of the mushroom was recently selected to represent Oregon at the annual James
Beard Awards dinner and prepare cuisine representative of our great valley.
Czarnecki has spread the gospel of Oregon's bounty around the world, and for
this there should be a day we all eat porcini and say amen!
