Next time you plan on checking out a new eating establishment,
forget looking at the menu--head straight to the john.
Cloistered and intimate retreats from the everyday world,
these restful enclaves can tell a person a lot more about
the inner workings of an eatery than anything you can ascertain
from a quick peek at the specials list.
In fact, we recommend you check out the loo before you
take your seat--what you find might determine whether you
want to stay or not.
There are two different breeds of powder room, and both
tell a lot about the dining establishment in question. There
are washrooms that match the entire decor of the attached
restaurant, and then there are those with a personality
entirely their own.
Pearl District shopkeeper and world traveler Patty Merrill
isn't a fan of the first type. In her mind these spots look
like corporate outhouses: muted colors, boring wallpaper
and a complete lack of imagination when it comes to art.
"It's no big surprise that the restroom looks like the rest
of the space," she says. "It usually means the menu isn't
much of a surprise either."
The second type of lavatory, though, tickles Merrill. "I
love surprises," Merrill says, "and every once in a while
you will enter a restaurant bathroom that doesn't seem to
have anything to do with the rest of the place. It's like
the people who designed the space actually thought about
making the room into a little glittering gem. If they are
that inventive in the place where you do your business,
then it leads me to believe that the restaurant will be
full of other surprises. And guess what? I'm usually right!"
Another way to rate the restroom of your local dinner spot
is where it's located in the restaurant. It takes a high
level of confidence to put your bathroom between the diner
and the kitchen. According to Merrill, Byways, Bread &
Ink and Paradox Cafe score high on the "honest" meter.
"You have to go through the kitchen to get to the loo,"
says Merrill. "It's like going to your mom's houseit
must be clean. I think that's a gutsy and very courageous
decision by the owners."
On the other end of the spectrum sits the "hoity-toity"
motif. "You know you are in a really expensive restaurant
when you can't figure out where the bathroom is," Merrill
says. "It makes me wonder if rich people even go to the
bathroom."
According to Gerry Frank, the restroom facilities of today
are a far cry from those of the past. The author of Where
to Find It, Buy It, Eat It in New York, which includes
a section on the most convenient restroom facilities in
the Big Apple, Frank is a scion of one of the familes behind
Meier and Frank and a longtime Portland restaurant bon vivant.
"The old Portland Hotel had washroom attendants that would
hand you a towel and give a nice brush to a gentleman's
suit," says Frank. "Several of the major hotels in New York
and Europe still have them. Tradition allows for it."
In the old days these perky gents and ladies could brighten
your day with a smile and a bit of good cheer. These attentive
attendants also made sure you never left the lavatory with
any articles of clothing misplaced or with telltale paper
stuck to your shoes. But according to Frank, they don't
have a place in our current fast-paced, workaday world.
"I don't think there is a need for them," he says. "It
is a thing of the past. People today are more interested
in the cleanliness and the decor."
Although washroom attendants may have cleared the room,
there are still plenty of spots that make going to the bathroom
a real treat. Check out the following:
Bluehour: Owner Bruce Carey lent his own touch to
the toilets of this highly touted space. Wanting to offer
diners unisex spaces resembling little handicapped-accessible
jewel boxes, Carey installed floor-to-ceiling, wall-to-wall
mirrors and chrome fixtures. He complemented the severely
Starck-like space with kitschy garage-sale-style art intended
to lighten it up. Each chamber is large enough for a small
party, and word is that these more-the-merrier spaces have
become their own jumpin' joints. (250 NW 13th Ave., 226-3394)
Paragon: The ladies' room in this eatery for trend-friendly
folk dazzles with beautiful, bright-red walls and real gold
leaf. A throne fit for a king or queen. (605 NW 13th
Ave., 833-6050)
Paley's Place: According to owner Kimberly Paley,
the mark of a great restaurant is to have awesome food and
a clean bathroom. And her eatery's bathroom details are
as carefully chosen as her menu items: pointy toilet tissue,
fresh flowers, European hand lotions and colognes that are
gifts from appreciative diners. (1204 NW 21st Ave., 243-2403)
Tad's Chicken N' Dumplin's and Mallory Hotel Dining
Room: Although they are on either end of the eating
spectrum, both these spaces hark back to a time when restrooms
were sweet retreats. Tad's are retro rooms decked out with
totally cool chairs and wallpaper straight from the 1950s.
All that's missing from the Mallory's ladies' lavatory is
a powderpuff and a pill box hat. (Tad's, 1325 SE Columbia
River Highway, Troutdale, 666-5337; Mallory Hotel, 729 SW
15th Ave., 223-6311)
Portland Steak & Chophouse: A visit to the men's
room at this meat-eaters' hangout is like stepping onto
a set from some old Humphrey Bogart movie. Black, white
and cool all over, it has a basket full of goodies--mouthwash,
tonic, hair spray--that will keep you fresh all day and
into the night. And they have one of those really cool shoe
buffers! (121 SW 3rd Ave., 223-6200)
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