[July 30th, 2008]

It’s OK to get your Betsy Johnsons mixed up if you live in Portland.

With the recent arrival of designer Betsey Johnson’s Pepto Bismol-pink boutique in Pioneer Place, powerful state Sen. Betsy Johnson making headlines for possible political missteps, and a third Betsy Johnson hitting the stage as local lead singer for the Rainy States, we’re having trouble keeping our Betsys straight, too.

That’s why we hit the streets. Through an informal survey taken in and around Pioneer Courthouse Square, we’d hoped to find out what average Portland citizens thought of these three (almost) identically named women. Now, we didn’t name names, but we did show them a picture of each “Betsy” and asked Joe and Joanne Portland what their “look” said about each of them.

Who knew we’d elicit the following response, which actually happened to our pollster Sara: “True story,” she says. “I went downtown, polled a couple folks, and then this dude walks up to me. I thought he was going to ask for directions. [But instead] he grabs the photos out of my hand and walks away with them, cursing.”

Who knew being a Betsy was so controversial?

Here’s how to tell our current crop of Betsy Johnsons apart, as well as a few of the more telling poll responses.

^HEADOUT PICKS

WEDNESDAY JULY 30

[MUSIC] BON VOYAGE PARTY

Former WW Music Editor Amy McCullough shoves off into uncharted waters (she leaves town on a sailboat for Mexico this week) with three aquatic-themed bands: weird-poppers BOAT, the quite rocking Aqueduct (sounds like “aqua duck”) and Portland’s Graves. OK, we won’t read too much into that last one. Safe travels, Amy! Towne Lounge, 714 SW 20th Place, 241-8696. 9:30 pm. $8. 21+.

THURSDAY JULY 31

[PERFORMANCE] COMEDYSPORTZ WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP

Forget the Olympics. This year the competition for the title in the most annoying of all improv comedy formats is right here in Portland. Gerding Theater, 128 NW 11th Ave., 236-8888. 7 and 9:45 pm Thursday-Saturday, July 31-Aug. 2. $15-$25.

[MUSIC] BARK HIDE AND HORN

Bark Hide and Horn makes folk tunes inspired by National Geographic. I mean, c’mon! Doug Fir, 830 E Burnside St., 231-9663. 9 pm. $7. 21+.

FRIDAY AUG. 1

[MUSIC]TELL NO ONE

This French chase flick’s a fine thriller, but we can’t say why. The less you know, the bigger the payoff. Cinema 21, 616 NW 21st Ave., 223-4515. Friday-Thursday Aug. 1-7. $4-$8.

[MUSIC] SAM COOKE VS. MARVIN GAYE TRIBUTE

How to choose between the punchy, sexed-up gospel of Sam Cooke and the deeply troubled, even more sexy and socially conscious tunes of Marvin Gaye? Tonight’s local soul heavyweights prove that we can totally have both. Wonder Ballroom, 128 NE Russell St., 284-8686. 9 pm. $8. 21+.

SATURDAY AUG. 2

[DANCE] TEN TINY DANCES

Usually this showcase for local performers takes place on a “tiny” stage inside a restaurant. Now it’s released into the wild. South Waterfront, Southwest Moody Avenue and Curry Street, 709-0952. 4-7 pm. Free.

[COMPETITION] RED BULL FLUGTAG

The ultimate homemade aircraft meets the Willamette River of doom competition. Tom McCall Waterfront Park, Southwest Oak Street and Naito Parkway, redbullflugtagusa.com. Gates open at 11 am, first flight 1 pm. Free.

SAT.-SUN. AUG. 2-3

[DRINK] ROGUE ALES’ BONES AND BREW FESTIVAL

Microbrew for the adults, root beer for the kids and even a beer for Fido. Northwest 15th Avenue between Everett and Glisan streets. 11 am-9 pm Saturday, 11 am-7 pm Sunday. $3 suggested donation.