HAVE YOU HEARD THE GOOD NEWS? God's sun is risen. NW Solar Expo.

It List glows like a gigantic and prolonged nuclear explosion, too.

Fri.-Sun., Sept. 14-16

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Immigrant Song

?Guess what? Or, perhaps more appropriately, ¿conjetura qué? It's Mexican Fourth of July, which because of the Mexicans' alleged "lazy" nature—they love their siestas!—is only now being celebrated. Our sleepy friends from south of the border will celebrate their independence from Spain in Pioneer Courthouse Square with Fiestas Patrias, which I believe translates to "Parties Patrias." To commemorate the day, Fernando Sánchez Ugarte, consul general of Mexico, will recite the traditional "El Grito de Dolores," or "The Cry," a famous speech calling for independence delivered by priest and Mexican national hero Miguel Hidalgo y Costilla in 1810 in the town of Dolores. Ugarte's 9 pm reading of the speech will coincide with Mexican president Felipe Calderón's reading in Mexico City and will emphasize the great freedom now enjoyed by the Mexican people. Freedom to flee poverty in their home country for America. Freedom to work long hours for low pay at the United States' worst jobs. Freedom to be vilified for doing so. Free at last! El Grito will kick off three days of celebration in the square with traditional food, dancing, drinking and music. And the celebration is not limited to Mexican independence; it's meant to encompass all Latin American countries that gained freedom from Spain only to find new sources of strife and corruption. But there will be sombreros! Pioneer Courthouse Square, Southwest 6th Avenue and Morrison Street, 223-1613. 5-10 pm Friday, 11 am-10 pm Saturday, 11 am-9 pm Sunday, Sept. 14-16. Free. All ages.??

God's Sun

?Recent scientific discoveries suggest that, contrary to popular belief, the sun is not just a reflection off the sweet gold medallion hanging around God's neck. Which, besides calling into question the existence of God's velour tracksuit, could affect the world's approach to energy generation. Apparently, scientists think the earth's sun is essentially a gigantic and prolonged nuclear explosion, which they theorize might go nicely with a pair of alligator loafers and a pinky ring—and could be harnessed to generate energy here on earth called "solar power." To explore this possibility, the Oregon Solar Energy Industries Association is hosting the Northwest Solar Expo (nwsolarexpo.com), "three days of exhibits and workshops taught by solar experts for home, business and professionals." Basically, the expo will help people understand how they can harness this emerging energy source. Whether through solar panels or simple methods of window sealing and efficient use of daily rays, the show's experts will walk you through the fundamentals of solar power, while God contemplates which pair of smoky-lensed aviators best complement his deep, golden tan. Oregon Convention Center, 777 NE Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd., 236-0367. 10 am-6 pm Friday-Saturday, 10 am-4 pm Sunday, Sept. 14-16. $12. All ages.?

Saturday, Sept. 15

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Foster-ing Hope

?Over the past few years, Portland's surge of urban renewal has buoyed once quiet and even seedy streets into bustling strips of local commerce and culture. The old guard—like chic Northwest 23rd Avenue and hippie haven Hawthorne Boulevard—have new competitors like Mississippi, Alberta and most every street in the Pearl. Now the latest booming ribbon of blacktop hails from deep Southeast. I'm talking, of course, about Foster Road. The street's inviting four lanes and exhilarating whiz of speeding traffic are luring locals and tourists alike. And this Saturday, the Foster Area Business Association will be showcasing just exactly what gives Foster its vibrancy at the tellingly titled street fair "Fun on Foster!" Come window shop for that secondhand muffler you've had your eye on at Foster's vast array of body shops and auto parts stores. And if you're low on cash, don't worry: Local pawnshops are happy to take any jewelry or electronics—your own or someone else's—off your hands. And if, perhaps, you need the means to acquire such fenceable goods, check out Gun Room Incorporated, which carries a full line of firearms or, for the nonconformist criminal, crossbows. People remember being robbed with a crossbow—much like you'll remember the fine time you had at "Fun on Foster!" If you get tired of shopping the street's eclectic retail, stop for a snack at local restaurants. For hearty American fare, try Arby's; Round Table Pizza is a trendy spot for Italian. Also be sure to visit the festival's special attractions, like "secrets of great neon work" from Jerry Strealy Neon. Don't you deserve your name in lights? Or preview hot new flooring and countertop trends at Color Tile, which will have a sale and demonstrations. Yes, from payday loans to wholesale plumbing fixtures, Foster has something for everyone. Come see what it has for you! Southeast Foster Road between 50th and 93rd avenues, 774-2832. 10 am-5 pm. Free. All ages.